A Single Point of Light

Four score and seven years ago, speak softly and carry a big stick, ask not what your country can do for you, I am not a crook,  - it seems every US President has a few famous words attributed to them.  In accepting the 1988 Presidential Nomination at the Republican convention, President George HW Bush likened America’s clubs and volunteer organizations to a brilliant diversity spread like stars, like a thousand points of light in a broad and peaceful sky.

I would like to tell you how my life was saved by a single solitary ½ inch point of light.

Not too many years ago, I was working as real estate broker with an office in Rexburg, Idaho, only 30 miles from my house.  Times were extremely difficult for me as the bottom had dropped out of the real estate market.  My home life was unsettled as well as my then wife and I had decided that I should seek other living accommodations than the marital home.  Fortunately, I had a small home in the middle of 3 farms that I had purchase some years earlier and had been using as a rental.  When it went vacant, I moved back in.  My older kids were all living with their mom as was my youngest with my second wife – so I lived alone except for a chocolate lab named Boone.

The real estate market was a complete bust and was my only source of income.  It was so bad that many suggested that I couldn’t sell anything in that market.  That turned out to be untrue as I sold my plasma twice a week so that I could put fuel in my old diesel truck so that I could make it to the office.  Many nights I didn’t feel like I could afford to drive home, so I slept on the office floor.

In an effort to maintain some sense of normalcy, I met my kids one night a week on Taco Tuesday.  I carefully took stock of what money I had remaining from plasma sales and carefully estimated the cost to take my family out for 1.99 tacos.  As each would order, I would keep track in my head of the total and adjust my own order accordingly.  More than once they asked,  “aren’t you eating with us Dad?” or “is that all you are having?’  Yes, many nights I was just ‘not very hungry’ as far as I told them.

My office rent, mortgage, child support, truck payment and utility payments continued to mount and with each passing day and month I grew more depressed and discouraged.  To me, I was a complete disappointment. Many times I considered the merits of taking my own life.  I was in jeopardy of having my electricity shut off and on the nights when I returned to the house, I never knew if the power would be on.  Days before I had a notice on the door that unless I paid my past due bill, the power would be shut off the next day.  

One late, dark and starless night, I was at my lowest point and was considering my suicidal options on the 30 minute drive home.  The night felt very still and ominous and I cried out for some sign from God that everything would be ok and that He would stay my hand.  My house was about a half mile from both the main road and the nearest neighbor, and at the end of a dead end graveled road.  I was certain the house would be cold and dark without power. There is one final turn into my driveway across an irrigation ditch.  I rounded the last bend and was facing my house when I saw it – a single half inch glow piercing the darkness, my doorbell.  It was a 12 volt beacon that might as well been a searchlight. From 50 yards away it told me that I had another night of heat, another night with running water, a night of sleep and a hot shower in the morning.  I felt that if I had been given one more night then perhaps I could do my part to make it one more day, and I did.

Many days have passed between that night and this glorious morning.  My life is immeasurably better.  The tiny doorbell has become symbolic for me as a reminder that even a small light can cut through the darkest night.  Today, I am mindful that each person we encounter may be facing some kind of struggle.  Perhaps a smile, hug or a kind word from us is that single point of light that may just make all the difference to them.  I pray that I, and each of us, can be the light that cuts through the darkness for even one person.