Sometimes Life Is Not A Fairy Tale

I guess I have posted enough ridiculousness on Facebook, that many people suggested that I join millions of other bloggers who post equally ridiculous nonsense that no one cares to read.  For me, writing can sometimes be therapeutic and a way to get thoughts out of my head that might otherwise keep me up at night.  To be fair, dozens of people have told me that I am too open and that I expose my soft white underbelly (not pretty) too often.  At the same time, others have found comfort, direction, and a sense of similarity with some of my most troubled times.  This blog is for the latter group, and for some of my family, who really haven't figured me out as yet.

So, my first post will be about the bewildered state in which I find myself.  Every young person imagines that they will find the love of their life, marry, perhaps have a batch of kids, and live a long and fulfilling life in wedded 'bliss'.   Yeah - BS.   I must say that I admire and envy those who are living that dream.  Happy for ya', good on ya'..and all that rot.

Instead, I find myself twice divorced, 4 kids from Round One and another from Round Two.  My kids have been my biggest blessings and were certainly reason enough to be married to their mothers.  Obviously, there is plenty of blame to go around in a failed marriage, and I admit to my share.  I might even accept more than half.  Either way, I'm still divorced.  I still live alone in a bachelor pad out in the sticks.  The quiet can be unnerving at times until the kids come around.

I must mention my former wives (look at that, I still can't really say EX -wives).  They are both wonderful and beautiful women with whom I was happy to share my life and love.  They have given me the greatest gifts in my kids and for that I will be forever grateful.  I wish them nothing but happiness.  I believe kids are a product of both parents, and when one parent attacks another, kids feel that attack too, as part of them.  I want no part in that.

I remember telling a divorcing friend that a failed marriage didn't mean a failed person....then I got divorced myself.  There is no end to the feelings of failure, particularly when the divorce was not of your choosing.  Every divorced person must decide for themselves how much they wanna wallow in their misery and when it is time to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  Some need extra help to get out of that place.

Being the non custodial parent is tough as well and I often found myself just living for the moments I had the kids around.  Thats not ideal either.

The period following divorce is rich in one thing - OPPORTUNITY.  Each of us, no matter our circumstances has the chance to reinvent ourselves every day.  That is never more true than with a divorced person.  For me, the last year has been all about trying to live a purposeful life and become a person in whom I an be proud.  This blog will be all about that journey, fraught with mistakes, a lot of profound sadness, some laughs, and loads of enlightenment.  If you think you might find something of value here, please feel free to climb aboard, follow, or whatever it is you do with a blog..