Four score and seven years ago, speak softly and carry a big
stick, ask not what your country can do for you, I am not a crook, - it seems
every US President has a few famous words attributed to them. In accepting the 1988 Presidential Nomination
at the Republican convention, President George HW Bush likened America’s clubs
and volunteer organizations to a
brilliant diversity spread like stars, like a thousand points of light in a
broad and peaceful sky.
I would like to
tell you how my life was saved by a single solitary ½ inch point of light.
Not too many years ago, I was working as real
estate broker with an office in Rexburg, Idaho, only 30 miles from my
house. Times were extremely difficult
for me as the bottom had dropped out of the real estate market. My home life was unsettled as well as my then
wife and I had decided that I should seek other living accommodations than the
marital home. Fortunately, I had a small
home in the middle of 3 farms that I had purchase some years earlier and had
been using as a rental. When it went
vacant, I moved back in. My older kids
were all living with their mom as was my youngest with my second wife – so I
lived alone except for a chocolate lab named Boone.
The real estate market was a complete bust and was
my only source of income. It was so bad
that many suggested that I couldn’t sell anything in that market. That turned out to be untrue as I sold my
plasma twice a week so that I could put fuel in my old diesel truck so that I
could make it to the office. Many nights
I didn’t feel like I could afford to drive home, so I slept on the office
floor.
In an effort to maintain some sense of normalcy, I
met my kids one night a week on Taco Tuesday.
I carefully took stock of what money I had remaining from plasma sales
and carefully estimated the cost to take my family out for 1.99 tacos. As each would order, I would keep track in my
head of the total and adjust my own order accordingly. More than once they asked, “aren’t you eating with us Dad?” or “is that
all you are having?’ Yes, many nights I
was just ‘not very hungry’ as far as I told them.
My office rent, mortgage, child support, truck
payment and utility payments continued to mount and with each passing day and
month I grew more depressed and discouraged.
To me, I was a complete disappointment. Many times I considered the
merits of taking my own life. I was in
jeopardy of having my electricity shut off and on the nights when I returned to
the house, I never knew if the power would be on. Days before I had a notice on the door that
unless I paid my past due bill, the power would be shut off the next day.
One late, dark and starless night, I was at my
lowest point and was considering my suicidal options on the 30 minute drive
home. The night felt very still and
ominous and I cried out for some sign from God that everything would be ok and
that He would stay my hand. My house was
about a half mile from both the main road and the nearest neighbor, and at the
end of a dead end graveled road. I was
certain the house would be cold and dark without power. There is one final turn
into my driveway across an irrigation ditch.
I rounded the last bend and was facing my house when I saw it – a single
half inch glow piercing the darkness, my doorbell. It was a 12 volt beacon that might as well
been a searchlight. From 50 yards away it told me that I had another night of
heat, another night with running water, a night of sleep and a hot shower in
the morning. I felt that if I had been
given one more night then perhaps I could do my part to make it one more day,
and I did.
Many days have passed between that night and this
glorious morning. My life is
immeasurably better. The tiny doorbell
has become symbolic for me as a reminder that even a small light can cut
through the darkest night. Today, I am
mindful that each person we encounter may be facing some kind of struggle. Perhaps a smile, hug or a kind word from us
is that single point of light that may just make all the difference to
them. I pray that I, and each of us, can
be the light that cuts through the darkness for even one person.